Salt lake city, oh dear...and Kirby's

So the roots are playin around the corner for free right now and every frat boy and whatever you call those pink girls are all there, livin it up, brah. I think I'm caught up with the blog? Nope. I fergot about Kirby's beer store, which is pretty easy to do, now that i think about it. it's a tiny, tiny and also small bar in wichita, kansas. We play there every tour and no one knows why. It's always empty, and the two people who are in there usually hate us. So we played first cuz there was a nice couple who perked up when we said bubblegum and bought a record. They were like " what time do you go on?" and we were like "now." So they promised to stay fer a song or two but ended up seeing most of our set. We played real soft and pretty like we do at practice sometimes and i think it worked. When Audacity went on they played everything half time and blew my mind again. I'm pretty sure I hate them now. But the two people at the bar sure didn't! When they played that Temptations song, everyone understood what was up. And after that, they played their ridiculously complex and punk rock songs at a pace that even rednecks could get. And it worked! I realized once more how great the damn chord progressions are. I hate you Audacity! You should have seen the looks on the two old guys from kansas' faces! they were reliving their youth for 28 minutes! You are so great Audacity! Take up carpentry or something, i used to be good at this! After that we drove and drove and drove and drove and drove and after that we drove some more then stopped at a hotel. It was early in the evening and did i talk about this already? oh well, i'm bored. we goofed around in a hotel. Have you ever blogged in a headshop in salt lake city? It is boring! Why are we playing a headshop? why are the roots playing around the corner for free? i'm not even embarrassed to be blogging here cuz the whole town is so weird and not cool. also there is no one here that we didnt come with. Mormons? Huh? Me 'n' Lee went to the roots show to swim through a sea of white people and hopefully drum up some customers...wrong. we got some looks and when we talked they were like all collegey. Man, I hate college kids! they daterape on the regular, you know. spring break?! i will never let my daughter out of my house. which will be on a farm in bolivar missouri, way out, yo. Ugh, they were gross. and boring. and stupid. so we fought our way through a swamp of white, privileged filth and worked our way back to this stupid headshop that has no one in it. Duh. Why would anyone hang out at a headshop? even if you smoke, it's not like you can use their products here, it's like a strip club. have i mentioned that i've never been to a strip club? it's true. frak strip clubs. yay me. I'm listening to this awful, wannabe classical violin hip hop thing and i feel like i should do something about it. like tear out my ears and eat them. here comes the show...i can hear our friend brian's band checking the mike...