notes from the road...day thirtyeight

our 11 hour drive began with 2 hours in the wrong direction. it was frustrating to say the least. but no worries, we we're on our way to kirby's beer store where, as everyone knows, good times are to be had by all. anything interesting happen on the drive out there?... nope. so kirby's is a closet in wichita where they somehow managed to fit a whole bar inside. we sat in the van and prayed someone would show up. while we waited a harmless crackhead stood too close to our van prompting lee to do his "GIT outta there!" routine. it's one of my faves. so we went in and there was a group of pinks sitting at the table next to the stage. we bought a beer (full price!) and messed around with the brain teasers until the smarmy pink took them from us, in order to show his superior toy playing skills. i hated that smug bastard. so some kid got up and sang us songs on his acoustic guitar about how hard and sad it is being a moron. he liked tom waits. alot. we kept our faces straight for the most part, but it made me wonder about tom waits. you think the first time his roomate heard him sing he laughed? i think i would've. they were all songs about love and death and how love and hate are the same thing. i'm sorry. i hated it but did not love it. then we played for the smarmy pinks who told us "better be good or we'll leave". that's no threat, pinky's! so we hated them all and played our little songs as fast as we could. afterwards they gave us a pitcher and we played cindi lauper on the jukebox over and over until everyone left. time after time, time after time! they cut the power after a few times, but i screamed about having paid good money and they put it back on. i like all through the night better and it also works as a pun if you play it over and over on a jukebox, but they did not have it. just try to pretend you don't wish you'd thought of this already. cindi lauper aural terrorism, with a punchline! then we stayed at the weirdest house of the tour. the couple had told us they were brother and sister and it was weird. there was a trailer in the driveway that they had converted into a weird bed thing. they played us their band and it was weird. the weird dreadlocked guy talked about making us a weird breakfast. it was so weird! when they woke me in the van the next morning sean and lee were weirdly serious about getting outta there quickly. he was making the wierd breakfast and it was time to go! at like 8!