Sheffield Alabama Church of The Psychedelic Goat

So i have to write this blog because i should be the one to explain why i leapt from the front seat in order to choke Lee, leading Alex to use the angriest angry man voice I have heard him use ("DAN!!!! STOP!!!!!), but I won't bother. Suffice to say I'm missing a pair of Raybans and Lee underestimated how upset it made me, while voicing his opinion on the matter. Usually this is the part where I ask everyone "what happened on the way to sheffield?" but i don't wanna, cuz I'd havta be all "so what else happened on the way to sheffield besides me wanting to kill Lee for a minute?" and i feel shy ok? we made up quick and then had the broiest brodown of my life a few days later, but ima make someone else tell that one. the olde towne tavern in sheffield alabama is a hot little hot bar with a wood cutout you can stick two heads through, painted in the likeness of Mr and Mrs Frankenstein or a disco dancing couple, depending on which side you use. Alex and Sean made a pair of perfect pair pics, which, if i can figure out how, we'll put up on this here bloggy. The bar was empty, but the couple of locals there were super nice and said wait around a bit for some more people. It was dollar taco night at the bar, which means your boy dan has to find his own dinner. as nachos, fries and nacho cheese and onion rings were the available non meat fare for the evening, i opted to wander the streets in search of a diner with all day breakfast. it was getting dark and the tiny old town was a weird mix of antique stores obviously owned by old ladies and smelled like too much potpoirri, vacant lots with backhoes and scattered stacks of wood, and post-apocalypse main st disneyland. i went in a vacant rotted out house with just the beams left for the roof, but it was dark and i bet they got meth in sheffeild so i split. for dinner it was mcdonalds cheeseburgers with fries instead of meat. i should have done that with the dollar tacos at the bar, but i felt shy ok? so by the time i got back, there were people there and everyone either knew eachother or were getting to know thee four people they didn't. it was super friendly and strangely sad at first. this one super pretty girl who told me where the mcdonalds was ("riite dayown thuh straieght") ended up living over that place and had dark circles under her eyes to prove it. she made sure i knew she didn't like me before i knew she'd formed an opinion. i really did just wanna eat something. on to the show! opening was megan jean and the kfb. the kfb was a guy who called himself burn. sadly he had not met his crash, or heard of that movie probably. they were strange. she was like a white girl Odetta with torn up stockings and a tamborine around her ankle mic'd. he was a classically trained cellist who played a standup bass with a bow and called himself burn. they were pretty good. he scratched and rubbed the strings in a way that made it sound like a screeching distorted guitar with little hip hop scratch flourishes then feedback swells during a cover of Iggy Pop's i wanna be your dog. Cool. so after that we got up and started jokin around a lil and played one song before sean's string broke. damn! we forgot our backup guitar on this trip (twice) and it's bit us in the ass 3 times already. i'm about to take advantage of that 30 day no questions asked refund guitar centers got. so i say "thank you goodnight" and walk to the bar for a beer. then we thought to play kitty while sean changed the strings. that we did, afterwards realizing how short kitty is. we repeated this blunder in boone but even funnier. we were so funny in sheffeild though! people laughed alot at all our jokes! they played along! a 50 year old drunk took the mic to sing unintelligible gibberish with a very serene and sleepy look on his face. I dedicated 2ez2luvu very specifically to one girl (hi Hannah!), who was standing next to her husband (sorry curt!) who i would kiss in a minute (curt not hannah) and we would all stay with later. they we're super cool! the bar has no stage and the sheffeild crew (Satan's Youth Ministers) have no problem gettin right in there and party-cipating! funny fun! they were all "sow where yall's stayin anight?" and we're all like "like totally yer house dude!" and they were like "hayull yeeuh liddle buddies!" tight! so after we left there, we went to the church of the psychedelic goat where they lived. we had some beers and a dance party and shirtless dan in wig and beret time, which led to loud cries of "CLOTHBACKS GO HOME!" (by me) until we had shirtless man time. that was for nick and macha and i said so to a bewildered curt that night. curt is the opposite of a clothback dudes, you'd love that guy! then lee decided to call up his sweetie CK to wish her a happy birthday, complete with said non clothbacks yelling the appropriate nonsense in the back. her birthday was like a week later. oops. so now we gotta get even more naked dudes and really scream our heads off i guess. happy birthday CK! whenever that may be. so when the gay got boring we watched funny youtube videos and went to sleep (after a moderately short top 40 rant) it was tight. next morning alex curt and i woke up and went to the grocery store where we met up with lee sean and justin who by some miscommunication and weirdness didn't know we were going and had the same idea. also me and sean are totally eye to eye on what song we should play next like every time. then we went to atlanta right? right.