get yo money up

lee wants us to "mindmeld like those guys on star trek" and all write this blog together. he's spouting stream of consciousness at me right now over Keri Hilson singing her next hit (next month or somethin) "get yo money up". so sean drove and drove forever til we got close to new york and lee took over, drove to the city got muthafuckin dizzy drovin in circles man drove in circles til we made it to the right city took the bridge to brooklyn we made fans all the time we got to the club just right theres probably, there was probably 50, 50 people there. how'd you know? i dunno. i'm not sure if this mind meld things working. did you put, are there typos. no misinformation, scandalous shit to get us knee deep. sheeeit. im a mixed up kid. we're all mixed up right. yeah. im a warrior. your a trailblazer. rrrraaawwww/ JUST FOLLOW ME FUCKERS. (singing) ate some falafel today. watched some jiggle bunnies. m. m. m. m. m. lik. lik. lik. mmmm. goosebutters lick lick lick that was weird.

Ooopsi

okiedoke..lee here .. sumwhere....? i dunno where exactly..think civil war battle fields..east coast .planet earth,usa
... from there we drove and we drove from 'bama to hotlanta! it was pretty excitin goin to play a town where which we have never been to as thee. not the whole time ..but fer a few minutes as we saw the skyline appear we knew we were in for a treat. playing with the customers was cool cus a local band actually showed up n they had pretty friends.i think it was due to the moon being full . danos dad gordon along w/ cuz came to the show too...with a pizza! yummy cheese!!i washed mine down with sum good ol fashioned black label beer..delicious. since gordon was there he inspired me to call home to check in with thee fam..i left a message..im alivee!! i also attempted to appologize fer my drunk dial to ck but she didnt answer...so i probably left another not quite as strange but odd message any ways..goodtymes..later i found out it wasnt even her birthday ! hahahaha....fun nee!
....we played to sum kids of drinking age n then left to spend the nite at gordons. his mansion of a cabin is one of our fav places to crash..it smells of shop class n u can see stars forever. dano n decided to have a nite cap of sum colt 45...we did n had a much needed heart to heart ..i slept on a couch and woke up to denise gordons wife making a lunch date. soon enough gordon was in the kitchen to whip up sum breakfast ie his world famous biscuits n gravy baby!! we all bathed n sum even did laundry. we parted the wrong way off the dirt road into our unknown immediate future...we turned around n found sum drank drink at home depot er sumplace like that. i guess sean n dan have beeen hyped fer it cus its an anti energy drink ..slow yo roll.. thats their trade marked slogan, i think. i felt compelled to drink it instantly without askin seans permission..it sloooowed maa rooolll. i was in and out of conciousness..i tripped out on a spider n the back seat fer sum unknown reason..it didnt exist. the can sed not to exceed more than 2 can in 24 hrs..i believe dan drank 3.............drive drive drive to boone nc....we just made up joke after joke all day n nite broughtto u by boone....too many to list here...u had 2 booone there! aye...the record store was fun...everyone seeme d to like us n we made sum gas monies...we went back to selinas for our late but much needed din din n sum beers...she read our tarot cards..that was trippy but fun n pretty positive id say....we went fer a walk to a park to go swingin'...i decided to bring my skateboard or show boat as dan likes to call it...ummm...it was real fun..n fast...n rocky!! appallachion mts our crazy like 4 loko!no joke i got jacked....i left to clean my wounds...the boys found my glasses! yay!...we then went swingin n off to bed...the next mornin selina made us buttery pancake goodness n we parted ways down the upside of thee mountain n off to nyc !! big apple...,mmmmmm apples..food is good.

Sheffield Alabama Church of The Psychedelic Goat

So i have to write this blog because i should be the one to explain why i leapt from the front seat in order to choke Lee, leading Alex to use the angriest angry man voice I have heard him use ("DAN!!!! STOP!!!!!), but I won't bother. Suffice to say I'm missing a pair of Raybans and Lee underestimated how upset it made me, while voicing his opinion on the matter. Usually this is the part where I ask everyone "what happened on the way to sheffield?" but i don't wanna, cuz I'd havta be all "so what else happened on the way to sheffield besides me wanting to kill Lee for a minute?" and i feel shy ok? we made up quick and then had the broiest brodown of my life a few days later, but ima make someone else tell that one. the olde towne tavern in sheffield alabama is a hot little hot bar with a wood cutout you can stick two heads through, painted in the likeness of Mr and Mrs Frankenstein or a disco dancing couple, depending on which side you use. Alex and Sean made a pair of perfect pair pics, which, if i can figure out how, we'll put up on this here bloggy. The bar was empty, but the couple of locals there were super nice and said wait around a bit for some more people. It was dollar taco night at the bar, which means your boy dan has to find his own dinner. as nachos, fries and nacho cheese and onion rings were the available non meat fare for the evening, i opted to wander the streets in search of a diner with all day breakfast. it was getting dark and the tiny old town was a weird mix of antique stores obviously owned by old ladies and smelled like too much potpoirri, vacant lots with backhoes and scattered stacks of wood, and post-apocalypse main st disneyland. i went in a vacant rotted out house with just the beams left for the roof, but it was dark and i bet they got meth in sheffeild so i split. for dinner it was mcdonalds cheeseburgers with fries instead of meat. i should have done that with the dollar tacos at the bar, but i felt shy ok? so by the time i got back, there were people there and everyone either knew eachother or were getting to know thee four people they didn't. it was super friendly and strangely sad at first. this one super pretty girl who told me where the mcdonalds was ("riite dayown thuh straieght") ended up living over that place and had dark circles under her eyes to prove it. she made sure i knew she didn't like me before i knew she'd formed an opinion. i really did just wanna eat something. on to the show! opening was megan jean and the kfb. the kfb was a guy who called himself burn. sadly he had not met his crash, or heard of that movie probably. they were strange. she was like a white girl Odetta with torn up stockings and a tamborine around her ankle mic'd. he was a classically trained cellist who played a standup bass with a bow and called himself burn. they were pretty good. he scratched and rubbed the strings in a way that made it sound like a screeching distorted guitar with little hip hop scratch flourishes then feedback swells during a cover of Iggy Pop's i wanna be your dog. Cool. so after that we got up and started jokin around a lil and played one song before sean's string broke. damn! we forgot our backup guitar on this trip (twice) and it's bit us in the ass 3 times already. i'm about to take advantage of that 30 day no questions asked refund guitar centers got. so i say "thank you goodnight" and walk to the bar for a beer. then we thought to play kitty while sean changed the strings. that we did, afterwards realizing how short kitty is. we repeated this blunder in boone but even funnier. we were so funny in sheffeild though! people laughed alot at all our jokes! they played along! a 50 year old drunk took the mic to sing unintelligible gibberish with a very serene and sleepy look on his face. I dedicated 2ez2luvu very specifically to one girl (hi Hannah!), who was standing next to her husband (sorry curt!) who i would kiss in a minute (curt not hannah) and we would all stay with later. they we're super cool! the bar has no stage and the sheffeild crew (Satan's Youth Ministers) have no problem gettin right in there and party-cipating! funny fun! they were all "sow where yall's stayin anight?" and we're all like "like totally yer house dude!" and they were like "hayull yeeuh liddle buddies!" tight! so after we left there, we went to the church of the psychedelic goat where they lived. we had some beers and a dance party and shirtless dan in wig and beret time, which led to loud cries of "CLOTHBACKS GO HOME!" (by me) until we had shirtless man time. that was for nick and macha and i said so to a bewildered curt that night. curt is the opposite of a clothback dudes, you'd love that guy! then lee decided to call up his sweetie CK to wish her a happy birthday, complete with said non clothbacks yelling the appropriate nonsense in the back. her birthday was like a week later. oops. so now we gotta get even more naked dudes and really scream our heads off i guess. happy birthday CK! whenever that may be. so when the gay got boring we watched funny youtube videos and went to sleep (after a moderately short top 40 rant) it was tight. next morning alex curt and i woke up and went to the grocery store where we met up with lee sean and justin who by some miscommunication and weirdness didn't know we were going and had the same idea. also me and sean are totally eye to eye on what song we should play next like every time. then we went to atlanta right? right.

Sweaty Heat Has Mercy...I Don't. Kablamo!

It's been really humid lately which imma attribute to our lack of blogs. sweaty heat makes me upset and lazy. ooo, i just found a great title for this blog. Btw, imma throw a quick apology out to anyone who has stepped into our van in the last couple days. mad smell, yo. anyways onto the ol' what happened and where.
it is now thursday but i guess im just to write about monday night and possibly tuesday morn, depends on how much laundry we can get done here at gordons (dans pop).
i dont remember too much about the drive to new allins, just some extremely lengthy bridges (sean and i saw an alligator in one of the swampy areas below!) and trying to get through sixty or so nrbq songs before the arrival (we did!). and speaking of arriving, that is easily what i remember most. it felt like we were driving into the heart of early 90's nwa songs. click click blah-ow. after feeling a lil scared we went into the bar, which was home to three dogs (one being a six foot rot [(also scary)]), one bartender and like two dudes. when i walked in they were all watching shrek and said that our playing the show was news to them. weee! lee found a poster outside which confirmed our suppose-d show. dan was hungry, sean was sleepy, lee was anxious, and i lost my wallet. dan and i walked up and down some streets lookin fer a food establishment, didnt find anything except lee on his skateboard(sean had found my wallet says lee). we started walkin back and lee took off then yelled, "DAN!" "DAAAAN!" he had found it! nummers!. it was a bar with some chill catfish/burger stuffs. it was okay and lee ate most of my half of the burger. i still owe him for half. sucker.
getting back, sean was still asleep and the pharmacy, who had set up the show, and asked to borrow everything but me showed up (to everyones amazement with a car full of gals) drinking a gallon of four loko. oof. oh yeah, they informed us that people dont show up til twelve or so in new allins. we watched the girls tag walls while dan and i talked to scotty who was really rad. he reminded me of coomers but not drunk(i really enjoy you too koom). show started once lee and co made a mic stand outta a broom, cinderblock and three makeout party stickers. people and doggies kept walkin in like they said they would. pretty neat. the pharmacy played pretty pop stuff and were minus one keyboardist. didnt think the nirvana song was all that bad. weee. i spilt and broke all of my drinks while setting up in this tiny bar full of people and large tables (awesome plus for having a street fighter two arcade) and then we played. i wasnt having a great time, but everyone else was getting their swag on and swaagging onto others swag. good stuff. we ended the show and took off with the boys and gals to get some beer. a cop at the store said we should live in the slums if we get rich and not buy crazy amounts of expensive stuff so the slummers dont know we are rich. it was insightful. sort of. we went to a house, dan was already there somehow and i went to the kitchen and drank on a stool while they were all screamin about fuego on the dance floor. people went to sleep rather early for stating that happenings dont happen til at least twelve. i went to the van which was a stupid mistake because i woke up drenched in more sweat than i am after a show. i also woke up to dan trying to help this older fellow out with mowing his lawn. dan was unsuccessful, which was probably better for all.
"which house is it!?" he says. I says "i remember it being the one before the stop sign." ten minutes later he is back all pissy. "ive been knocking for ten minutes!!" iz go to the house he is knocking at and tell him that this house is not the house. it also says FOR RENT next to the door. late nights are fun. so he gets a beer across the street (im starting to really enjoy colt 45) and we talk about adventures. someone else can take on this days writing task i need some more coffee. bye bye all!
love, alex.

PEANUT BUTTER!!!!

so we rolled through the checkpoint like nothing, the danger strangers kept cool and got through too after they were searched and interrogated and had the dogs check 'em out. no big thang!
so we drove and drove and drove and finally got to austin after a couple time changes that got us there a few hours later than we wanted but the club didn't seem to mind. the first band didn't show up so we played and it was fun for us! hopefully the 10 people there had fun too, we couldn't really tell. but sue showed up (she took the photos on our album and she just opened a vegan diner-type-deal in austin!), it was nice to see her! and lindsay showed up and gave us a place to stay which was very hospitable. alex and i were loading the van and this drunk guy came up and asked if we needed a house to stay at. we said we already had a place and he seemed genuinely offended that we didn't take him up on his offer. austin hospitality! but we slept in a very nice. clean, cool house and swung on swings in the front yard in the middle of the night, it was nice!
we woke up, burgered it up, took showers and now we're on our way to new orleans!
this blog is not really that good. it's just a this happened, then this happened type of deal. i'm sorry there's no feeling in it. but to make up for it here is a list of emotions we've felt recently: delirium, excited, self-conscious. smitten, horny, frustration, confusion, love, hate, happy, hot (not really an emotion, but still a feeling), scared, lost, a little sad, extremely sad, longing, regret, upset stomach, hungry, full, hoongra, shitty, bewildered, apathetic, chingy, satisfied, camaraderie, nauseated, dirty, clean, swingy, drunk, high (dan climbed a tree), nervous, worried, disloyal, ecstatic, unsure, wet, twitchy, freaky, strange, out of place, out on the side, angry, hungry, queefy, beefy, gassy, dry, thirsty, gross, murderous, scanda-less, shy, stupid, embarrassed, naked, alone, jealousy, home-sick, sympathetic, late bewildered, bemused and wang-tastic ... these are the feelings we can share with each other without it getting too weird.

Beefy Q tour 2009

We don't remember anything funny on the way to Tuscon. But right now is so funny! Oh if we could type the stuff we're talkin about now! Oh my Bob! Heartless and hilarious is the only way. Beefy Q! The first show was super tight. We played at the Hotel Congress in Tuscon which had a fire that ended up gettin John Dillinger caught back in the day. We got there early and got 10 bucks comped towards dinner, which was delicias. I chose the oven baked brie sandwich with red peppers artichoke and some kinda fruity vinegar concoction. It was aight. The eggplant bisque was better. The boys got (what else?) burgers, which were burgers. So we sat around and drank too much coffee cuz we weren't awkward enough yet. When people started to show up me an Ally were good and wired. SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Lee misses all the burger girls, but he doesnt want to name any of you. how fucked is that? First up was us because the danger strangers weren't there. We played a lttle jittery but it was pretty tight. After we played travis an matt from the funky fresh knockout pills played their first show as The Unlikely Sons. They were fucking awesome. Tight harmonies and extremely smart songs, just how you'd expect with surprises. After that it was the danger Strangers, who played a little hot little set that was way more diverse then i thought it would be. They got motorhead in there and all kindsa stoner rock really. It was dope. Then was Lenguas Largas, who make you feel cool and detached but involved. They funky, and bust out crazy guitar sounds to keep up your head. Super dope show right? right. It was super dope. then we got a room comped and invited the dead into our souls because its haunted and that's what you do in those places. I was perfectly content with my possession, but Lee wanted to hold hands in a circle to help the evil take over. I was all "seance? more like GAYANCE! get it?!" then we went to sleep. But not before Matt asked if we wanted to record in the world famous coma cave the next day! nards yeah! we said. so we went to bed with sugarplums...the next day we woke up, showered and got to work. The coma cave has a pool! how tight is that? its so hot there. we decided to record our resonars inspired song with the resonars man in the resonars studio while we wore our resonars t shirts. but wait it gets even cooler. Matt totally wrote and sang a harmony on said song! oh snap son! it sound like him! because it is! so yeah whatever thats just whats up now. he be playin the guitar solo on tuesday and then its in the mail dawgie!! we'll put it up when we get it, i cant wait! so we had to rush that recording cuz we had to drive to las cruces to play with our pals the danger strangers and another band who's name i got but forgot later. damn, sorry guys,we were pretty beery. but you was aight. then the dangerboys played and they was tight, but me an ally were bein lazy outside cuz sometimes you just don't care. RIP Uncle Tommy. By then i was on a good one and ready to fuck wit dat guitar a lil bit. i didnt know it felt the same way about me.. in the middle of one song i hit my thumb on the pickup selector, which is missing the plastic thingie, cutting the nards out of my thumb. blood everywhere! hooray! everyone loves blood! we played two songs too many cuz i'm an idiot. Ally totally said to stop at the right time, but i see that blood ya know? anywho, it was a hot little hot little show. we stood around outside after. playing top forty loudly and shouting get your pigeon! to the tune of get your swag on by soulja boy tellem. it was fun. then a young transient by the name of kira hendon invited us to stay at the house where her ruffles truck home was parked and we took her up. after a lengthy rant to the locals about the wonders of american top 40 we were off. I guess it was an after party cuz it was fun, but maybe not because we brought all the fun. but! lucky me, Kate showed up and we got a foosball game going! yay foosball. Kate is some kind of witch or spawn of the devil or something, because girls aren't good at foosball and stuff, duh! so theres no way she could just school my ass over and over unless there was some black magic involved. but i romped on all her homies yo, don't worry. they know whats up with the anaheim foos over there in lost causes new mexico. then most of us went to bed wink wink nudge nudge. i slept in the aforementioned ruffle chips truck home thingie. it was aight. today i awoke to Lee crouched over in the street, mourning the loss of a recently acquired and more recently destroyed 32 oz bottle of a tapatio like hot sauce. we were counting on this to get us through all these non mexican food havin places. damn. after that we got good cheap breakfast and dropped off our new friend who's name i don't know at her house in el paso and we're on our way to austin to play again. right now we're pullin up to the checkpoint they got here to make sure we dont got any fruit or mexicans in here. i think we maybe have an apple. but i really wanna eat it later!
booyah! just rolled through that checkpoint bullshit like barriers i run right through em used to em. however the danger strangers got pulled over and hopefully they aint gettin rolled up...when the cops asked if we were with them we said no.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN (1st hour of USA tour 2009)

near death experiences = 1.5
cookies eaten = 15
cookies left = 200ish
harlem tape played = 2.5 times
tapes sequenced = 1
inside jokes told = many
amount of unexpected $ dan got before = $100
times lee lied to my mother = 1
times we thought we got lost = 3.5
times lee's gotten lost = 1
awkward moments = a lot
miles to indio = 58
guitars forgotten = 1
guitars borrowed = 1 (thanks tracy!)
burgers eaten = 1

and here's a new song called "a sincere and heartfelt tribute to disneyland's jungle cruise adventure"...tell somebody!